Are You Ready to Get a Puppy?

I've seen a couple different versions of "Are You Ready to Have Babies?" floating around on the world wide web. It's a humorous "test" to see if someone is ready for some of the less glamorous aspects of parenthood (to which I cannot relate being child free). Even though I have not experienced those "joys" of parenthood myself, I do find that quiz to be very funny. While I realize that having puppies will probably not even remotely prepare someone for parenthood (and likewise, having a baby will almost certainly not prepare someone for "puppy-hood"), I thought "Are You Ready to Get a Puppy?" deserved its own blog post. Having a puppy in the house is both exciting and frustrating in it's own unique way. Keep in mind, all dogs are special and different, your exact experience could differ drastically from someone else's, especially if you get a different breed.

So if you are thinking about getting a puppy, take this test first to assess your readiness.

Test 1 - Peeing on the floor
Step 1: Take a cup full of urine.
Step 2: Pour it on your carpet and let it soak in for a while (if you have hardwood floors make sure to find an area rug to pour the urine on).
Step 3: Step in it.
Step 4: Attempt to clean the urine out of your carpet, with only partial success.

Test 2 - Waking up in the middle of the night
Step 1: Set an alarm to make repetitive, loud, high pitched noises at 2 in the morning.
Step 2: Get up and go outside in the middle of winter wearing nothing but your winter coat and a pair of winter boots.
Step 3: Chase a greased piglet around your yard in the snow for 20 minutes trying to catch it.
Step 4: Go back to bed and listen to repetitive, loud, high pitched noises for 30 more minutes before falling back to sleep.

Test 3 - Financial burden
Step 1: Arrange to have $100 per month deposited directly to the pet food vendor.
Step 2: Arrange to have another $100 per month deposited directly to the vet.
Step 3: Take your favourite pair of shoes and throw them in the garbage.

Test 4 - Dog fur
Step 1: Go to the groomers and get a garbage bag full of dog fur clippings.
Step 2: Cover yourself in dog fur.
Step 3: Spread the fur clippings around your entire house, including in your food.

Test 5 - Chewing things
Step 1: Get a steak knife.
Step 2: Use the steak knife to stab little holes in all of your favourite sweaters, shoes, and furniture.

Test 6 - Food stealing
Step 1: Cook Thanksgiving dinner.
Step 2: Forget the turkey on the counter unattended for 10 seconds.
Step 3: Put 1/3 of the turkey down the garbage disposal.
Step 4: Put another 1/3 of the turkey in the blender with milk and lemon juice.
Step 5: Pour the blended turkey mixture all over the basement carpet.
Step 6: The remaining 1/3 of the turkey is yours to eat for Thanksgiving dinner.
Step 7: Find the blended turkey mixture on your carpet the next morning.
Step 8: Step in it.
Step 9: Try to clean the blended turkey mixture out of your carpet, give up and call the professional carpet cleaner.
Step 10: Call your vet and transfer him $100.

Test 7 - Drool
Step 1: Get a bucket of slobber.
Step 2: Smear slobber on all of your clothes and furniture.
Step 3: Fling slobber on your walls, let it dry. Try to clean it off.

Test 8 - Personal injury
Step 1: To simulate having a large breed puppy head-butt you, have someone throw a softball at your face breaking your nose and splitting open your eyebrow.
Step 2: While still bleeding, chase your greased piglet around the house, catch it and wrestle it into a crate.
Step 3: Go to the doctor for stitches.

Test 9 - Damaged floors
Step 1: Have beautiful new hardwood floors installed.
Step 2: Take a metal garden rake and scratch it around on all areas of the floor.

Test 10 - Poop
Step 1: Try to put a large pile of soft feces into a plastic bag that is much smaller than the feces pile without getting any on your hands.
Step 2: Carry around the bag of feces for an hour because you can't find a garbage bin.
Step 3: Take the feces and rub it into your carpet.
Step 4: Step in it.
Step 5: Try to clean the feces out of your carpet unsuccessfully, give up and call the professional carpet cleaner.

Test 11 - The yard
Step 1: Have your yard beautifully landscaped, with grass and lovely flower garden.
Step 2: Dig holes in your garden, pull up the flowers and scatter them around your yard.
Step 3: Destroy large portions of your grass by burning it with nitrogen.
Step 4: Scatter poop around your yard.
Step 5: Step in the poop.

Test 12 - Answering the doorbell
Step 1: Every time the doorbell rings play a recording of the repetitive, loud, high pitched noises (preferably while someone is either on an important phone call or sleeping).
Step 2: Go to the door and open it only 1 inch while trying to see who it is.
Step 3: Be unsuccessful at opening the door only 1 inch and sprint around your neighbourhood barefoot for at least 15 minutes trying to catch your greased piglet before it gets hit by a car.

Test 13 - Having your butt sniffed
Step 1: Put on a nice pair of pants.
Step 2: Have someone ram you in the crotch with a dirty, wet mop. Make sure to do this in public for maximum embarrassment all while trying to discretely deflect the mop and make casual conversation with someone.

Test 14 - Dog farts
Step 1: Get a can of fart spray (Does such a thing exist? Who am I kidding? Of course it does.)
Step 2: Spray it in every room of the house every 30-60 seconds. Make sure to spray the fart smell when talking to strangers and act like you don't smell it.

Test 15 - Bathing the puppy
Step 1: Fill your bathtub with water.
Step 2: Cover your greased piglet in mud and poop.
Step 3: Throw the greased piglet in the tub and try to catch it again.
Step 4: Attempt to maintain control of your greased piglet while drying it off with a towel.
Step 5: Dump half of the muddy/poopy bathwater on yourself and all over your bathroom.
Step 6: Let your greased piglet loose in the house and try to catch it again.

You are now ready to get a puppy!

Samson when he was a puppy

In all seriousness, puppies are really wonderful. They can be stressful at times, but if you put some effort into training them properly will grow into loving, devoted, and obedient pets who will probably be your best friend in the world and love you unconditionally.

(Please don't actually use a greased piglet. I do not intend for anyone to harm any actual animals while carrying out the steps of this hypothetical test.)

Top 10: San Francisco

Out of all of my favorite cities to visit, San Francisco might be #1. It has everything I would look for in a city break: conveniently located (a direct flight from Calgary is under 3 hours), great climate, amazing food and restaurants, centrally located shopping, loads of character and plenty of unique activities.

If you have enough time you can really explore and get to know the city, but say you only have a few days, what would I recommend? Here is my top 10 list:

1. Run the Nike Women's Marathon. NWM is seriously one of my favorite memories out of all of my travel adventures. The race starts in Union Square, winds along the Wharf, with views of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge, goes out along the Sea Cliff districts and Great Highway, through Golden Gate Park and back along the Pacific Ocean.  When you cross the finish line a member of the San Francisco Fire Department, wearing a tuxedo and holding a silver platter, congratulates you and hands you a little blue box which contains your special edition Tiffany's finishers necklace! Unfortunately, you need to win the lottery to get a bib (which I somehow managed on my first try) so there are no guarantees. I will definitely be attempting to get a spot in this prestigious race again in the future. 

With my parents at the finish line of the NWM

2. Take a ferry to Alcatraz. The Rock is located in the San Francisco Bay and an easy ferry ride from the Pier. If you are a first timer to the San Francisco Bay area, Alcatraz must be on your list of things to do.

3. Hang out on Pier 39. From the carousel, to sea lions, to vendors selling things you never knew you needed, Pier 39 is full of surprises. While you are visiting the Wharf make sure you watch out for the Bush Man!

The Pier 39 Sea Lions

4. Shop Union Square. Every thing you need is conveniently located around Union Square: the cable cars, restaurants, Tiffany's, Macy's, Niketown and more. Also a great place to make your home base, Union Square is only a short walk or cable car ride to many of the other attractions such as the Ferry Building, Chinatown, Little Italy and the Fisherman's Wharf.

5. Wine tasting in Sonoma. Not technically in San Francisco, but an easy day trip. Sonoma and Napa Valleys are no more than a 2 hour drive from the city. If you're up for it you can stop at Muir Woods along the way to see the Redwoods.

Muir Woods

Sonoma Vineyard

The wine tasting cave at Bella Winery in Sonoma

6. See Ghirardhelli Square. Located in the Fisherman's Wharf, Ghirardhelli Square features specialty shops and restaurants including the Ghirardhelli Chocolate company. A trip to San Francisco is not complete without tasting some divine Ghirardhelli chocolate or ice cream.

7. Visit the Ferry building. San Francisco's historic ferry building used to be one of the busiest in the world. Now the main floor is used for an upscale marketplace and farmer's market featuring local delicacies. 

8. Bike across the Golden Gate Bridge to Sausilito. Scott and I rented bicycles and rode across the Golden Gate Bridge the day after I completed the Nike Women's Marathon in 2011. My legs were totally useless for walking the hills of San Francisco, but I found cycling was a bit more tolerable. Unfortunately, the day we biked across the bridge was the only day there was fog on our whole trip. But the fog just made it seem more adventurous. We met up with my parents in Sausilito for some shopping and lunch before taking the ferry back to San Francisco. 

 Biking across Golden Gate Bridge

9. Walk down (or up) Lombard Street. None of my Lombard Street pictures turned out very good. It's supposed to be the crookedest street in the world. Go check it out, it's cool.

10. Bargain hunt in Chinatown. The Chinatown in San Francisco is said to be the largest Chinatown outside of Asia.  Stop here for some of the famous chinese cuisine, visit the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory, or just spend your time wandering aimlessly and bargain hunting in the many unique shops.

Caving in Belize

If there is one experience that stands out in our memory of our trip to Belize this year, it would be the caving. Don't get me wrong, the whole trip was really totally out of this world amazing. But for us, the caving (which is something we have not done much of in the past) was the by far the coolest part of the trip. If you go to Belize you should try caving at least once. Most of the popular tourist caves have rivers running through them and many of the tours involve tubing along leisurely while looking at the pretty formations. For a lot of people, that is adventurous as you need to get on a relaxing vacation in a beautiful country. For the thrill seeker there are plenty of other options including zip lining and more intense caving experiences.

The first cave we did is called Actun Tunichil Muknal (ATM Cave). The ATM Cave starts with a 45 minute long hike through the jungle and wading across 3 rivers along the way, the cave itself involves swimming, wading and scrambling along the underground river to a large cathedral containing ancient Mayan pottery and fireplaces, then climbing a ladder into a small room that contains the full skeletal remains of an ancient human sacrifice known as the Crystal Maiden. The calcified skeletal remains of the Crystal Maiden have a sparkling and haunting appearance.  If you have never done any caving before, I highly recommend the ATM Cave as a first cave experience, it has everything an adventurous traveler could ask for: physical challenge, mineral formations, mystery and archeological artifacts that seem like they are straight out of an Indiana Jones movie. Unfortunately, last year a tourist damaged a Mayan skull when he dropped the lens of his camera on it (Luckily not the skull of the Crystal Maiden, but still horrible for the archeological society!) and now as a result of that incident photography is not allowed inside the cave (click here if you would like to see images and read more about the ATM Cave).

The day after completing the ATM Cave we hired the same company to guide us in the Crystal Cave which is located in the Blue Hole National Park (not the same Blue Hole as the one in the ocean where divers go). We heard about the Crystal Cave from some of the guys who worked at the lodge we were staying at.  Some of them are avid cavers and recommended Crystal Cave as one of their favorites in Belize. The Crystal Cave is a dry cave, which means it does not have a river running through it, and requires more physical challenging caving techniques, as a result it is not as widely known to the tourist circuit as they tend not to advertise it so aggressively. We were warned in advance, very ominously, that getting to the cave requires at least 1 hour of strenuous hiking followed by several hours of gruelling caving. No food is allowed inside the cave and nothing can be left behind (to spare you the major details plastic bottles would be used for liquids and ziploc bags for solids, see my post on amusing toilets and cave burritos here). Great! we said Sign us up!

The 1 hour strenuous hike from the parking lot to the mouth of the cave turned out to be about 25 minutes of hiking through a muddy, mosquito infested forest with one hill that was sustained for about 10-15 minutes. I said that it would not be a true adventure until at least one of us slipped and fell into the mud, something that didn't happen until the return trip when both Scott and I fell into the mud on the downhill section within about 30 seconds of each other. Once we reached the mouth of the cave a rope was fixed to assist with the 15 foot downhill scramble into the cave.  We didn't need to rappel, the rope really was not totally necessary but there for comfort or reassurance just in case.

Entering the cave

Once in the opening of the cave we ate our sandwiches and hid the backpacks, taking only water, some basic supplies and our camera. We spent the next 3-4 hours exploring the cave. Scott and I are normally alone to fend for ourselves when we go adventuring so having two guides (1:1 ratio) was a huge luxury! The guides Glis and Miguel were so nice and helpful! The whole way they would say "put your hand on this rock", demonstrate how to navigate a section, "don't step there", "be careful this rock is loose", and joke when we saw a stalagmite "don't sit down" or pretend they were lost and say "do you see the yellow arrows?". When traveling in a foreign country we prefer to hire local guides whenever possible. The locals are normally very proud to share their country with you, it contributes to the local job market and they can give you a lot of information from a perspective that you might not get in a book or from someone who is transient, is only there temporarily and has not grown up in the area with the local customs. It was apparent right from the beginning that our guides loved their country, heritage and traditions, and they loved caving.

With our cave guides Glis and Miguel

The Crystal Cave does not contain any complete skeletal remains (such as the Crystal Maiden in the ATM Cave), but does contain many pieces of Mayan pottery, evidences of fireplaces and partial human remains. The narrow passages that open up into grand cathedrals containing massive stalactite and stalagmite formations that all seem to shimmer in the light of your headlamp are truly awe inspiring. Even the walls of the cave seem to sparkle like gold.

Going through a tight passage

Scott squeezing through a narrow section

Much of the cave sparkles like gold

People have asked me what it is like inside the cave (besides muddy and damp). It's dark. As dark as you can imagine, maybe darker. We sat down and turned our headlamps off for a few minutes and could not even slightly see our own hands in front of our faces. It's an eerie feeling. There are some tight spaces, but the vast cathedrals are even more surprising. They are absolutely huge! It is hard to imagine there is an entirely different world underground and we are often barely even aware of it when above ground. The shadows from the lamps and mineral formations make the whole experience seem mystical and supernatural. Another question I have been asked: Does the cave have creatures or insects?  Yes, but we didn't see very many. We saw a couple of bats and some really large spiders (larger than my hand), those were all closer to the opening of the cave. As you go deeper into the cave you start to see these transparent little creatures that were supposed to be some type of lice. The environment is totally void of light so these insects are almost completely transparent.

This sparkling chandelier stalactite is probably the size of a Volkswagen Beetle

A human skull with the first few vertebrae, making archeologists believe that it might have been a decapitated head of a human sacrifice

Ancient Mayan pottery and tools (such as obsidian)

All of the artifacts are at least 1000 years old

We finally got to a section in the cave where the guide said that is normally where the tourists turn around and go back and asked if we would like to go back or continue to the area they call Wonderland? Would we like to continue? Was there ever a question about that? We replied. Glis explained that there weren't any Mayan artifacts in that part of the cave but even more marvellous mineral formations. There would be some scrambling, followed by a section of clay (where we could slide down on our butts) and then for the next part we would have to remove our shoes and go barefoot. He explained that it would take about 40 minutes to get to Wonderland from where we were.  About 20 minutes later we were sitting in the area they call Wonderland. Our pictures didn't really do it justice because some of the formations were so big it was hard to take good picture with our little point and shoot camera and there was a lot of humidity. I can understand why they call it Wonderland, you really do feel a sense of wonder like you are in another world. Way in the back there are the remains of a snake which is a bit of a mystery because they do not know why a snake would go so far back into a cave with no food source.

Some of the mineral formations resemble icicles

 The skeletal remains of a snake - who knows why it came here to die or how long ago!

It is easy to see why the ancient Mayans thought that caves were the passage to the underworld 

After our experience in the cave we emerged from the underworld back into the sunlight, mosquitos, and heat of the day. Our hike back to the parking lot is when Scott and I both wiped out in the mud, but it didn't really matter at that point because we were already covered in mud anyways. Glis made us sit on a plastic bag in backseat of the car! They drove us to the Blue Hole cenote for a "swim" but we suspected that their real motivation was to wash us off.  Either way a refreshing swim in the cenote was the perfect way to conclude our adventure.

Scott's Top 10 "Scott Moments"

It would be fair to say that my life isn't boring. Not only do I have two rambunctious, crazy dogs but I am married to an equally adventurous and accident-prone husband, Scott. People who know us well would refer to those episodes that could only happen to him as "Scott Moments".  After a dirt biking trip one summer a friend told me he was sure he would be the one to tell me Scott's last words and they would be "watch this". While on vacation in Honduras we were socializing with some other travellers and Scott had been entertaining them with some of his stories. Someone asked Scott what he does for a living, to which he replied that he was an insurance broker. Well everyone thought that was pretty funny and they turned to me and wanted to know what I did for a living. So I replied that I was a workplace health and safety advisor. The group erupted in laughter and they proclaimed that we were the most ironic couple they have ever met. I suppose that might be true. But seriously, it is a really good thing that we have adequate insurance coverage.

I have decided to share some of the most memorable "Scott Moments" that have happened since the year 1999 when we started dating. Scott had already experienced a lifetime of "Scott Moments" before we met, but I couldn't do those events justice as I did not personally witnessed them.

Our family - December 2011

Here are the Top 10 "Scott Moments" (since the year 1999 when we met):

1. Not long after we started dating Scott came home from a day of skiing at Fernie with chest pain and a lot of difficulty breathing. He has asthma and had assumed he was having an asthma attack. He just wanted to go to bed, but I insisted on taking him to the hospital. When you go to the emergency room and say you are having trouble breathing you go straight to the front of the line. Within minutes he was on oxygen and being examined. Only a few minutes later the thoracic surgeon arrived and started asking Scott questions and wanted to know when he had hit his chest. Scott said that he had not hit his chest but had planted his poles while skiing and his arms were jerked back. As it turns out, while his arms were being forcefully ripped behind his body he tore a hole in his lung and it collapsed. The doctor said it was the type of injury they usually see with a blow to the chest such as hitting your chest on a steering wheel in a car accident. The air from the lung had filled the mediastinum (chest cavity) and we could feel air bubbles in his neck. The doctors wanted to keep an eye on Scott overnight, but didn't want to admit him, so instead they decided to put him in the only quiet area of the ER, the psychiatric room with padded walls. They also gave him Demerol to help with the pain.  While he was getting settled in the psych room, and going between various levels of consciousness due to the pain killers, he suddenly opened his eyes wide, sat up and said (in a slurred voice) "I LOVE YOU!" And that was the first time he said he loved me. Awww! How romantic.

2. While we were engaged to be married Scott decided to go mountain biking with my cousin. They hadn't been gone long when they came rushing in the front door, Scott covered in blood. The story goes that while they were getting their bikes ready in the parking lot, Scott had been hopping curbs and went over his handlebars. While we were examining his roadrash to decide if he needed a trip to the ER, we commented that a wound on his abdomen looked pretty deep and was gaping (sort of like a bullet wound). When we took a closer look someone commented that it looked as though there was something in the wound. Scott stuck his finger in there and pulled out a pebble about 1 cm in diameter. We decided to take him to the ER for first aid and stitches. For reasons I don't understand the ER nurse thought it would be best to give Scott the stitches without anesthetic.

3. On our first wedding anniversary we went camping in Fernie. While Scott was cutting firewood he chopped the axe into his hand. So we celebrated our first anniversary in the ER waiting for Scott to get stitches. 

4. Our 4th trip to the ER was because he sliced open his finger on a steak knife when loading the dishwasher. He went up to the desk and asked the intake clerk if she thought he needed stitches to which she replied "I can't tell you if you need stitches". He then showed her the cut and she said "you need stitches go sit down". Since that day I have stopped accompanying Scott to the ER when he needs stitches. If he is conscious and not bleeding profusely he can drive himself there. Such a caring wife right?!

5. One day when Scott was walking Samson off leash in the field behind our house Samson was running around and wouldn't come back. Scott decided to get Sam's attention by throwing a rock near him, but the rock ended up hitting Samson on the leg. Scott swears he didn't do it on purpose! The next day I had to take my dog to the vet and make up a story that we didn't know how Sam got a puncture wound on his leg.

6. While waiting at the beach for the dive boat to pick us up in Costa Rica, Scott jumped into the water to cool off and landed in a swarm of jelly fish.  The Costa Ricans thought it was hysterical and said they had never seen it so bad before.

showing off his jelly fish stings

7. While ice climbing the left compound gully in Waterton a few years ago Scott decided to use his axe to make me a shelf to stand on while belaying the next pitch. As he was chipping the ice away with the axe his hand slipped and the axe hit me squarely on the knee. 

this is a mountaineering axe not an ice climbing axe, but it will give you an idea of

what the spike looked like on the axe that Scott hit me in the knee with - at the time we
only had one set of ice tools and had borrowed a set from a friend which is a good thing
because the spikes on Scott's axes are much sharper

the gully we were climbing when Scott hit me on the knee with his axe, we weren't 

at the top when the accident happened but to get back to the truck we still had 3 rappels 

followed by a 30 minute hike

8. In the fall of 2011 Scott took up bow hunting. While practicing his "bow hunting skills" in the garage one evening the bow string hit his forearm (with about 60 lbs of sudden force).

Scott's forearm about 3 days after the bow incident

9. In July 2012 Scott was participating in the Magrath I Swam the Dam Triathlon. It had started to rain slightly making the pavement wet and as he turned the second last corner into town at 40 km/hour on his bike he lost traction and wiped out. He finished the rest of the race with road rash and covered in blood and now is a minor celebrity in the town of Magrath for being the guy who crashed his bike and still finished the race.

the paramedics were excited that they had something to do

...and I saved the best for last,

10. Scott got his 15 minutes of fame on the hit TV show America's Funniest Videos. Instead of trying to describe the incident I will just give you a link to the video. 

Scott's Slackline Fail Video

I hope you enjoyed my Top 10 list of Scott's most memorable "Scott Moments". I have joked that living with Scott is like being in a gag reel and now you know why. It was hard to narrow this list down to only 10. I honestly don't think I can even remember every time Scott got stitches, chucked himself off of something, singed his eyebrows starting a fire, crashed a bike, had to get a tetanus shot or tomahawked down a ski hill, but I think you get the idea. 

Scott fell in a hole - instead of helping him I laughed and took pictures

My First Marathon

I ran my first half marathon in July 1999 at the age of 19. Although my finishing time wasn't terrible at 2 hours and 3 minutes, I hadn't trained properly so the race really went badly from start to finish. When I crossed the finish line I said "well I won't be doing that ever again!" and I even went as far as to say that anyone who would run a full marathon must be completely out of their mind (now that I have completed 5 marathons, it is a statement that I probably still agree with). But as I got closer and closer to my 30th birthday something changed. I decided I didn't want to live a boring, shallow life consisting of shopping,  sipping lattes, being a 'gym rat' (a label reserved especially for people who exercise almost entirely indoors at the gym), watching TV and generally taking the easy road. Yes it's true that Scott and I did hike and climb quite a bit, but never felt like I had gone out on my own to see what I was capable of. I hadn't gone out of my comfort zone and pushed my limits. I wanted to have goals. Real, significant, life changing goals. In 2007 we had travelled to Peru and Ecuador and climbed our first high altitude peak. That experience had given me the sense that I really wasn't living up to my potential and I wondered how much more could I accomplish if I tried. I'm not sure how running a marathon managed to make it's way on my bucket list, but it did, and I can honestly say that I started the whole endeavour without really being sure it was something I wanted to do.

It was in January 2008 that I decided to join the Runners' Soul Marathon Club. Since that half marathon in 1999 I had only rarely ran more than 5 or 6 kilometres and I hadn't applied myself to a consistent training program. I began the Marathon Club training schedule with caution. Once we reached 14 miles on the weekend long runs each following long run would be the longest distance I had ever completed. I would say looking back on the experience it went pretty well until around the 16 mile point. I would run slowly taking occasional walk breaks and had generally managed to finish each long run with a sense that I could probably go longer 2 weeks later.

Of course, that all changed the week I tried to run 18 miles. For people reading this post who have never run that far, the 18 mile point is generally the point at which people will deplete all of their available glycogen stores. Glycogen, which is stored in your skeletal muscle and liver, is a major source of energy. When it's gone, you are almost entirely relying on your body's ability to convert fat into energy, a process which takes a lot longer. People call it "hitting the wall" because you literally feel fine one minute and then the next minute it takes all the effort you can muster to just put one foot in front of the other. Well, needless to say, my 18 mile run was a disaster. In fact I didn't even finish the full distance and not because I hit the wall either. I had to stop at around 11 miles because my IT band had flared up so badly that I could barely walk. Luckily a friend was driving by as I was trying to limp home and gave me a ride.

I was devastated. Until that day I hadn't realized how much the whole experience meant to me. I had a revelation - I actually wanted to run a marathon. On the advice of some more experienced friends, I took it easy, had a couple of massages and then tried the next long run, 20 miles, two weeks later. I decided to change my strategy to running 10 and 1's (10 and 1's are when you alternate between running 10 minutes and walking 1 minute) and it worked. I made it to the starting line of my first marathon on June 1, 2008 in Lethbridge, Alberta.

Race morning I was very nervous! I followed my regular pre-run routine of getting up 2 hours early, eating a good breakfast, getting my running gear ready, doing a bit of mental preparation and most importantly (everyone who has ever run knows how important this really is) I made my morning trip to the washroom. We arrived at the starting line at least 30 minutes early. But my nerves got the best of me and I had to make an emergency trip to the porta-potty. I don't know why this happens but I've seen this a lot at races - people who are not even running the race line up at the porta-potties, creating very long lines and do not even let the racers go first. As a result I was actually in the porta-potty when the gun went off! Yes I started my first marathon sitting on the toilet. I ran out of there pulling up my shorts, Scott handed me my race belt and off I went to the starting line. Good thing for timing chips or it would have added about 2 minutes to my official time.

starting the race basically alone because I was in the porta-potty when the gun went off so everyone  else had already gone

Mile 15 - still smiling

walking up the hill at mile 18 - part of my race strategy

If I could summarize what it's like to run a marathon it would go something like this: "I feel amazing this is awesome!", followed by "OK I don't feel awesome but it's still fine", then a feeling of doubt "Why am I doing this? Isn't half a marathon good enough?", then total despair when you reach the 18 mile point and realize you still have 8.2 miles left to run (for an average person this will take at least an hour), by the time you near the finish line the last few hundred yards feel like an eternity. But I was so thrilled to be running that marathon, it was my BIG DAY, and I found myself smiling so much that my face and cheeks started to hurt.

I crossed the finish line with an official time of 4:35:49 (when you adjust for the time I spent in the porta-potty that is). Looking back if I had to judge this race against the others it was by far my worst result. The first half was not too bad in a time of 2 hours and 3 minutes, but limped through the second half of the race in 2 hours and 32 minutes. I hadn't even beaten the Oprah line (which is to finish your first marathon faster than Oprah's marathon time of 4:29:15) but that didn't diminish my happiness. I had completed my first marathon and I knew that day it wouldn't be my last. I limped back to the car, had a big lunch, a long nap and about a week later when I was finally able to walk normally again, I started planning the next one.

at the finish line - 26.2 miles!

all smiles after the race

More Outrageous Dog Moments : Ashley Edition (plus more Samson)

I wanted to write a follow-up to my recent post titled "Samson's Most Outrageous Moments" with more hilarious dog moments featuring some of Ashley's crazy stories. It didn't seem fair to feature Samson but not my other dog Ashley. If you've met Ashley you know that because she is so sweet, her outrageous moments don't seem quite as funny as Samson's. It's because people tend to feel genuinely bad for her if something crazy happens. She is just a really nice dog and now that she is old and gentle people sometimes forget that in her early days she had earned herself quite a reputation as well.

So here they are - Ashley's most outrageous moments (plus a few more of Samson):

1. When Ashley was a puppy she would run around like a crazy dog so fast that no one could catch her earning the nickname "Smashley".

 "Smashley" the crazy puppy!

2. Ashley learned how to climb a 6 foot fence and escaped our yard one summer afternoon. Scott got a phone call from the neighbour to say that there was a black dog with a red collar running around. It turns out that she climbed the fence (probably to escape Samson being a pest), found some girls who were walking their shih tzus and followed them home. The girls said that Ashley was perfectly behaved and when Scott came to pick her up she was playing in the yard with the shih tzus.

3. Samson has apparently interpreted the game of water fetch to mean "take the object to the shore" not "take the object and give it to the person who threw it" because while we were floating on the lake last summer Samson (who was swimming along beside us) grabbed the rope that was tied to our boat and would not let go of it until he pulled us to the shore. It didn't matter what Scott tried Samson was NOT letting go of that rope.

4. Samson almost broke my nose a few years ago. I was petting him and he sneezed hitting his rock hard skull squarely on my nose. Thank goodness my nose wasn't broken, but it sure did bleed a lot. Sam's head seemed fine.

5. Then there was the time that "Smashley" jumped up unexpectedly and chipped our friend Jenessa's tooth. Yes she chipped Jenessa's front tooth. Luckily Jenessa said she wasn't mad and had dental insurance to fix the tooth (that's what she told us at least --- sorry Jenessa).

6. When Ashley was an "only dog" (before we got Samson) we were packing our pick-up truck to go camping. She was waiting for us in the cab of the truck and stepped on the button locking herself in! It was a good thing we managed to find a spare set of keys because I have no idea how we would have gotten her out of there otherwise!

My beautiful girl about a year before Samson arrived

7. Also "pre-Samson", we were taking Ashley to Popson park for a swim in the river. At the time Scott insisted that all dogs must ride in the back of the truck, something that always made me uncomfortable. As we were driving down the gravel road she jumped out of the truck (while the truck was moving)! Scott slammed on the brakes and I ran out to see her get up from her tumble with blood pouring out of her mouth. When I caught her I saw that she had split her lip open right down the chin. She needed a bunch of stitches and we never argued about whether our dogs would ride freely in the back of the truck again (well they do ride in the back but with a locked topper to keep them inside).

Meeting her brother Samson for the first time

8. At my parent's house one summer we were all sitting in the hot tub in the backyard when Ashley got concerned and jumped in the hot tub with us! I don't think she realized it was full of hot water.

9. Last summer Samson and Scott collided heads and Sam's skull split open Scott's eyebrow almost to the bone. He got it glued and taped instead of stitches, but I still think he should have gotten stitches.

10. There was the time Samson singed his tail in the campfire (that's my boy). He probably did that more than once actually.

11. On Ashley's first Christmas (she was 4 months old) we went to my parents house for the holidays and Ashley drank the entire refillable water dish (probably about 2-3 litres of water). Her belly bloated and she peed on my foot.

Ashley's first Christmas (and our first Christmas as Mr. and Mrs.)

12. On one of our summer weekends in Fairmont when Ashley was a puppy, we were walking her on leash and she somehow managed to get loose from her harness. She ran around the pool area like a crazy dog while people in their swimming suits were chasing her trying to catch her for us.

Earning her other  nickname "Boozer" - she loved Ladell and he loved her
(for the readers who don't know Ladell, he passed away suddenly in Februrary 2011)

While some of these events were really stressful at the time, they have turned into some of my favourite memories. Even though my dogs are getting old now and they sleep most of the day, they still do silly things from time to time and it always makes me smile. This afternoon I found out that Ashley will need surgery on Thursday to remove a tumor from her foot and possibly amputate at least one toe. That makes me sad and afraid. As a "dog mom" I've put a lot of effort into making sure my dogs were always taken care of, safe and loved. But I can't protect them forever and one day there will be nothing I can do for them but help ease their pain and thank them for being my friends. I really hope that day isn't soon and we will be able share many more outrageously crazy moments together.

October 2012 - we ran the 9km Bare Bones Run as a family

Samson's Most Outrageous Moments

This is my dog Samson and he has earned himself quite a reputation of being an enormous, hilarious, crazy & clumsy dog.  Although he is huge, slobbery, excitable and persistent with his requests to fetch, he is also loveable, sensitive, affectionate and in my experience most people cannot resist his charm.

Here is a list of some of his most outrageous moments:

1. The time he ate 30 pieces of 1 inch gravel and then proceeded to puke and poop them all out over the following 2-3 days.

2. He ran a 1/2 marathon in 1 hour and 53 minutes! At the senior age of eight and a half.

Bare Bones Dog Jog - October 2010

3. When he was a young dog he chewed a hole in our BBQ propane hose.

4. After putting a hole in our wall with his head fetch became an "outside-only" game.

5. In the summer of 2003 we took the dogs to Washington state and let them swim in the ocean near Port Angeles. Samson must have drank too much sea water because on the trip back to the campground he threw up all over himself and Ashley in their crate :(

6. While trying to fetch a stick at St. Mary Reservoir,  he didn't see a 2 foot cliff, ran off the cliff and landed face first on a rock, knocking out two of his front teeth.

This picture was taken after he fell off the cliff before the two teeth completely fell out

7. He ate a pound of butter off the counter before we could get it from him.

8. When he was a puppy he ate an electrical cord that was plugged into the outlet.

9. Somehow (we have no idea how) he ripped off an entire claw.

10. He once played a game of fetch so intensely that he friction burned the skin off all 4 of his paws (OUCH!). He was in so much pain he wouldn't eat or go outside to the bathroom for days.

11. He once ate a corn cob and then threw it up 5 weeks later.

12. One Halloween I came home to find that he had eaten all of the candy, except for the Snickers. He apparently doesn't like Snickers. But then again who does?

13. On the way to Banff this September (2012) we arrived at the Tunnel Mountain campground to find that he had pooped in the back of the truck and he and Ashley were both covered in it!

14. In the summer of 2002, when he was 5 months old, we took a road trip to Fairmont for the weekend. Scott's driving must have made him car sick because he threw up in the backseat of our car, and right on top of Ashley's head. Ashley was mortified, Scott was furious and Samson felt terrible (poor guy). We didn't even have any towels to clean up the mess and had to use a blanket. Our car smelled like puke the whole rest of the trip.

Although he is far from perfect, our family just wouldn't be the same without him. He loves life, lives for the moment, isn't afraid to get dirty and takes as much enjoyment in the small pleasures as he can. Most importantly, he's my boy.